You’ve been together a couple of months. You have passed the 24 hour test – happily spending sun up to sun down together – on numerous occasions. You have a toothbrush in each other’s bathrooms, but you don’t live together yet and you’re pretty happy with that. Sound like you? Then it might be the perfect time for your first trip away together! Exciting, right?!
Your first romantic getaway is the best kind of relationship milestone. But it can also make you as nervous as the first date because there’s so much pressure to get it right. In truth, trips away together really test your compatibility – when you’re travelling, you’re basically living together – you will be sharing a bathroom and you won’t be seeing anyone else you know. It makes sense to be both excited and nervous, and to give some thought about how to get through this trip happily. Here are some things to consider before you head off.
Get the Scale Right
If you have been together for a couple of months, it’s a good idea to plan for something more like a mini-break than a three month long safari, for example a long weekend away or a couple of cheeky days off work mid-week. As Dr Pepper Schwartz from Psychology Today points out, “a young relationship is best served by an easy vacation – a weekend or overnight trip to some place that is merely a new setting for romance and intimacy.” If you must hop on a plane, make it a short flight – but it might be better to pick somewhere you can get to before sundown on a Friday night.
Get together and plan your getaway over dinner and a bottle of wine. Decide on location, activities, where you will stay – discuss your respective budgets and expectations. When making these plans, concentrate on your mutual interests. Remember, this trip will help you work out how compatible you are so plan on doing things you will both enjoy equally. If this is a bit hard to work out, that’s okay. Remember that you can compromise without giving everything up – for example, maybe one partner loves cars and the other is indifferent to them. It’s a recipe for disaster to visit the nearest motorsport event together. Instead, you could hire a classic car and go for a road trip down the Forgotten World Highway. Maybe one of you is a bit of a foodie – that doesn’t mean you’d both enjoy devoting the entire weekend to learning how to make cheese. Making plans to visit a couple of top restaurants before retiring to your hotel room is a delicious compromise. Anticipation is one of the feelings that makes romance blossom, so plan some pleasant activities and have fun with it.
When You Get Home
When you get home, make sure you debrief before returning to your respective places. Even if the break didn’t go as planned – you got rained out, your hotel was awful or your car broke down – it doesn’t have to be a deal-breaker. This should be a learning experience, so discuss each other’s travelling styles, what worked for you and what didn’t. Hopefully, you will come out of your time away with lots of new stories and a smile – and next time, maybe that three month long safari will be on the cards!