Posted by John Aiken, 8 September 2015: One of the biggest obstacles that I see with many of the eligible singles out there is their work life. Specifically, these individuals have big careers with lots of responsibility and long work hours. Sure they get to buy expensive apartments down at the Viaduct Basin, wear clothes from Working Style and Zambesi, and eat at 5 star restaurants. But they also often have one thing missing in their life – love. So should you sacrifice your love life for work and career?
My answer to this is ‘no’.
Being all work and no play can be lonely and unfulfilling. Yes it can provide you money and memorable experiences, but nothing compared to the joy, support, passion, excitement and love of a healthy long-term relationship.
On top of this, when you fall in love it becomes so much more than just being about you. When you’re in a relationship it forces you start to widen your perspective and it encourages you to be a team player. To create a shared vision and to strive for couple goals that push you forward and make you feel alive! Something you simply cannot do when work comes first.
So if you’re struggling with work getting in the way of your love life, here’s 5 tips to follow:
#1) Relax in the week-ends
Make a point of taking time out in the weekends to re-charge the batteries and to socialise and have fun. Go hard on a Friday night and get out and about. Don’t go into the office on a Saturday or Sunday and instead become available for meeting someone special.
#2) Put your phone down
I know you’ve got lots of work to do, and people constantly send you texts and emails. But if you’re always focusing on your smartphone you’re not going to be present and open to opportunities. So put boundaries around your phone – turn it off, put it on silent, don’t check it when you’re out etc. It will make you a lot more sociable.
#3) Take a lunch break
Yes – it’s a simply as getting up from your desk and leaving your office during lunchtime. It’s amazing how many people you might meet when you’re out and about. It makes you available and open to mix with others.
#4) Avoid work talk
I realise that you might have a very interesting job with lots of status attached, but it’s boring if you talk about work all of the time. You need to become interested in things outside of your career, and be able to talk to people, ask questions and discuss all sorts of non-work related topics.
#5) Pursue interests and mix with non-work friends
This will make you a more intriguing person and it will show different sides to your character. It will also have the added advantage of getting you out of your work comfort zone and mixing with non-work related people. You need different circles of friends to extend you and make you act and think in a fresh new way.
John Aiken, Findsomeone’s dating and relationship expert, as seen on the hit TV 3 show Married At First Sight. He is a best selling author, appears regularly on TV, radio and in magazines, is a clinical psychologist and runs a private practice in Sydney, is a sought after speaker, and offers intensive couples retreats. (www.johnaiken.com.au)